How tapping on childhood affects adult relationships (the science of trauma)
There is a past event at the root of your current block.
You don’t put yourself out there because you tried that in the past, and it failed.
You worry about money because you grew up in scarcity.
You don’t pursue a dream job because you witnessed parents fail at theirs.
The Science Behind Memory:
Your childhood traumas big and small are in your long-term memory, right?
Wrong. Most memory gets stored in long-term memory where you can call on it for wisdom or nostalgia.
Stressful memories on the other hand don’t get stored in long-term memory; They get stored front and center in your emotional (limbic) brain.
This is a survival adaptation so that your brain can quickly draw on related experiences and quickly react at a moment’s notice.
Most often, these unprocessed memories don’t help you… they hurt you.
These charged memories sit in your emotional (limbic) brain, causing you to think and act “irrationally.”
It’s the reason why my students say, “I KNOW I shouldn’t act this way, but I can’t stop myself” or “Logically I know there is nothing to worry about but I can’t shake the feeling that the other shoe will drop.”
They have unprocessed memories.
They are “irrationally” afraid of authority because of some unprocessed memory of being yelled at as a kid.
They are unwilling to voice their needs because as a kid their emotionally immature parents guilt-tripped them for being needy.
How do you stop letting childhood memories limit you?
You put them in long-term memory where they become wisdom instead of limitation.
In the words of Joe Dispenza, “Trauma without the emotional charge is wisdom.”
So, how do you put a memory in long-term storage?
You tap on it.
Tapping is the equivalent of reliving these memories but in a stress-free state.
As the EFT Tapping points reduce stress, it allows your brain to relive the memory from a place of peace, which allows your brain to store it like a peaceful memory: in long-term storage…
… where it won’t affect your daily emotions.
This is why EFT is a blend of Exposure Therapy and Stress Reduction.
Exposure Therapy invites people to relive memories as a way to desensitize them to it. It’s as if you are teleporting back in time to vividly imagine the memory. But, the brain doesn’t know the difference between imagining something and living it, so many Exposure Therapy clients end up feeling more triggered as they relive painful events (understandably)… which is where EFT comes in.
EFT Tapping reduces stress. When you teleport back in time to “relive” a memory you are simultaneously self-soothing. Instead of feeling triggered, you start to relax. You suddenly see the event from a bigger perspective, or adult perspective.
Exposure therapy is like watching a scary movie alone in the dark versus EFT which is watching a scary movie in broad daylight with your friends and good music playing.
Instead of feeling emotionally INSIDE the memory, trauma-informed tapping helps you feel securely OUTSIDE the event, connected to a bigger and safer perspective.
Make sense?
When you can stay calm and curious about could-be-triggering memories (mental scary movies), it’s a sign that the past will no longer block you.
You can work through childhood memories at home using trauma-informed EFT meditations like the one in my Ideal Future Portal, but save trauma for private sessions!
Trying to tap on trauma without proper training can be re-triggering.
Get a trauma-informed EFT practitioner or attend a Level 1&2 workshop to learn how to safely tap away the imprint of childhood.
If your current patterns feel familiar, it’s a cry from your past that says: “The past is taking up space on your current hard drive! Put me in long-term storage please!”
Tapping on childhood memories cleans your hard drive, making room for something new, preferably something up-to-speed with your current (or ideal) reality.
How can you find out what memories are stuck in your easily triggered emotional midbrain?
Ask yourself:
What challenge am I facing this week?
Does this challenge remind me of feelings or fears I experienced in childhood or adolescence? If so, list 1-3 memories that feel related:
Am I repeating the fears or limitations I picked up in my past? If so, write one step you can take to begin to put the past in the past where it belongs.
If so, learn to safely tap on these childhood memories.
As you heal the childhood wounds (healing meaning the choice to observe a memory instead of relive a memory) you’ll be able to live your life on your terms, instead of your fear’s terms.
Clear the hard drive.
Make space.
Your future self thanks you, and is always there to help you.
Your-lets-clear-up-space-tapping-partner-in-crime,
Jackie Viramontez
EFT Master Trainer
