How to Tap on Womb Trauma: Healing What Began Before Birth
Dear Tapping Fairy Godmother,
“How do I tap on womb trauma? My mom went through one of the greatest losses of her life while pregnant with me. I know it connects to my anxiety and fear of opening up to others. Please help.”
Dear Anxious for No Reason,
Knowing about womb trauma puts you light-years ahead.
Just the awareness that there’s a reason behind your anxiety can be relief-giving.
There’s always a reason. A grieving mom - whether for a parent, sibling, spouse, job, or home- directly affects the baby. You’re hooked up through the umbilical cord, soaking up nutrients and cortisol. Every spike of adrenaline in her body spikes in yours too.
Here’s what I’d do first:
I’d put my hand on my heart, the same heart that began beating in my mother’s womb at just a few weeks old.
I’d Tap & Remember:
Your mother’s story is not your story
These feelings are valid.
These feelings started as Mommy’s anxiety, and I took them on.
Her anxiety was never mine to carry.
These feelings are hers, not mine.
Her fears had to do with her life, not mine.
But her anxiety was never mine to carry.
Her story was never mine to carry.
Her choices were never mine to adopt.
Her beliefs were never mine to agree
Notice which affirmation resonates most. Consider writing it on a sticky note or typing it into your phone as a daily reminder.
Here’s mine: The most caring thing I can do is to stop carrying this for them.
Then, I’d honor the beauty of grief, instead of the burden of grief:
If you’re absorbing Mommy’s loss, also absorb the celebration.
Grief is about love. We only grieve when we’ve lost something wonderful.
List three things your mom lost. Yes, it might’ve been a person, but maybe it was also connection, stability, a sense of home, or friendships.
Then list three beautiful things about what was lost. Mommy had something worth celebrating. Write them down. Even create a ritual, like a memory box, to honor them.
Moving forward, start asking yourself: Is this my feeling or someone else’s?
If you find yourself having an emotional flashback of sadness for no reason - if you feel anxious, angry, or hopeless - pause and ask: Is this mine, or someone else’s
Maybe it’s the person at the bus stop who gave you the heebie-jeebies, maybe it’s a younger version of you, maybe it’s a client who projected anger onto you, or maybe…it’s your mother from long ago.
Remind Yourself: This is theirs. Not min.
Finally, Learn to time-travel.
Scoop that baby out of the womb. This isn’t magic - it’s muscle memory plus imagination in action.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality. Yes, the reality is that Mommy was grieving. But you get to imagine the ideal womb environment for yourself.
If you could create the perfect womb environment, what would you choose? Can you picture it now? Maybe fairies wrapping you in honey-colored light, maybe a safe cocoon of peace. We’re not “playing pretend.” We’re giving ourselves a muscle memory of support, love, and safety. We’re cultivating a chemical soup in our bloodstream: of endorphins and dopamine.
Make it a habit to take your inner child on a “date” once in a while to give her this gift.
She deserves it.
Here’s the truth: you don’t even need a mother who experienced loss to have womb trauma.
Studies show that being separated from your mother for an hour after birth - very common in Western hospitals - increases anxiety for the rest of your life.
I’m an identical twin: I was a high-risk birth. My mom still grieves that she was separated from us when we were first born.
My great-grandmother was adopted. She was separated from her parents for a lifetime.
These anxiety-inducing studies don’t account for re-parenting.
We can reteach the body that it is safe.
That’s why my intake form asks: What do you know about your birth? Were you separated from your mom?
If someone is anxious and says it is “unexplained,” I would go straight to their birth story.
With inner child work and EFT tapping, we can write a new story. We can tap on the anxiety that was never ours to carry.
That was. along answer to a powerful question. Its hard to sum up womb work in one Q&A.
✨ If you feel called to rewrite the story of your birth - or moved to guide others through their own birth trauma - I teach healers and self-healers this sacred, often-forgotten modality inside my Level 3 workshop (included in the upcoming Trauma-Informed EFT Practitioner Certification).
Your tapping fairy godmother & inner child copilot.
Jackie Viramontez
✨ P.S. If you feel called to the sacred work of healing birth stories and womb trauma, that specialty begins in my advanced training. But to get there, you’ll need to start with the foundation. If you’ve never attended my EFT Level 1/2 Workshop, save your seat here. The Oct Level 1/2 is the prerequisite to the Jan/Feb Level 3 Workshop - and the doorway into womb work and birth trauma healing.