Why I Could Never Make More Than 65k As A Healer
The first year I was an EFT practitioner, I filed income taxes for $13,600.
I filed my taxes without help for the next 5 years because I didn’t want anyone to see my numbers.
When a client came to me to work on financial blocks, I felt like a fraud.
Breaking through Financial Imposter Syndrome
Five years later, I was still struggling. But that 6th year I made my first 6 figures and added a ZERO to the end of that income… and it wasn’t because I was booking more clients.
It had to do with an incident I saw at 15 years old in my grandma’s beach house, a place I called home every summer from age 1 to 21.
I walked into the kitchen, still salty from the ocean, and was surprised to be the only one there.
Where her BLT and tea normally sat, was a homemade cassette tape. Stuck to the cassette was a yellow sticky note scrawled with the sloppy handwriting of my distant aunt. Her rental car was no longer in the driveway, which only dawned on me as I got closer to the note.
The post-it said:
F@$#
YOU
MOTHER
I grabbed for the cassette, but that’s when I heard it: The sound of my 97-year-old grandmother crying upstairs.
My aunt, a woman who struggled with substance abuse and probably a list of mental health disorders, had spent the morning recording a voice memo. My dad would later tell me that the cassette contained a 40-minute rant about why my grandmother was the worst mother.
I know my grandmother wasn’t a perfect mom, but she was a well-intentioned generous and caring woman: She’d give headrubs when you felt sick, send anonymous Valentines to the entire family, and allow my parents to drop off two teenagers every summer where she fed us for an entire month.
Even more generous, she had spent the last five years sending a $10k monthly check to this unemployed aunt (who apparently felt no desire to apply for jobs). Do the math: That’s over $600,ooo to a daughter who now recorded a hate tape.
How does this relate to the 13k I could barely scrape together after a year of working as an EFT Practitioner and Reiki Master?
My 15-year-old heart broke for my grandmother.
On an unconscious level, I internalized my grandmother’s pain as my own.
There are a million stories I could have internalized:
“Drugs destroy mother-daughter relationships,” or
“Don’t give people money,” or
“You’ll never be a good mom no matter what you do,” but…
Here’s the story I internalized:
If you have money, people will take advantage of you.
I packed up that story and moved 3,000 miles away to Los Angeles, where I dragged it around for the first decade of my professional life.
It took me 10 years to remember this family story, but when I did my life (and yearly income) changed forever.
I was living in a small six-plex in East Los Angeles and was gearing up for a deep meditation.
My intention: Get to the bottom of my Financial block. While I was making a livable wage as an EFT/Tapping Practitioner and Reiki Master, I couldn’t surpass 65k which is not much when the average rent and cup of coffee is astronomical.
In the meditation, I guided myself through an exercise I had recently learned from EFT Tapping Expert Margaret Lynch. The exercise guides you to map your family of origin’s financial story.
I saw my broke parents: The for sale sign on my dad’s failed business. Mom qualifying for food stamps. Making copies of library DVDs because we couldn’t afford our own. (The reason my parents were poor while my grandma was so wealthy is a story for another blog).
Then I saw my weekends eating at my grandmother’s beautiful beach house. I saw fancy dinners at country clubs. I saw the privilege that allowed her to generously write checks to family and friends in need.
Scarcity and abundance lived under one financially-confusing roof.
My grandmother was my one personal example of abundance.
Because of her, I learned that abundance was possible but that money came at a terrible cost.
Abundance: Generously cutting checks to family, friends, and NGOs that take advantage of you, and then reciprocating by angrily telling you that all you gave was NEVER ENOUGH.
15 minutes into the exercise, the cassette tape memory came flashing back to me.
It suddenly made sense why every time I had an income jump I would downplay it and then self-sabotage.
I was afraid that if my family knew I was doing well, they would start taking advantage of me.
My inherited pattern: If you have money, people will abuse it.
The EFT/Tapping Exercise That Changed My Life
In the exercise, I sat across from my grandmother and told her how her story was making me afraid to make more money.
I spoke with her using a Gestalt-based practice called Two Chairs or Empty Chair Technique.
As the fear and anger dissolved, it dawned on me: This was a boundaries issue. Not a money issue, and one she apparently didn’t regret.
She laughed. “Having money didn’t make me give it away. I wanted to give it away. I was the one writing the checks.”
I always saw my grandmother as someone who was taken advantage of by ungrateful and untrustworthy people.
Now I saw her as a generous woman who maybe struggled with some boundaries and codependency (codependency = taking responsibility for other people’s problems // very common in families with substance abuse issues).
I closed the EFT/Tapping meditation by thanking her for passing down a legacy of generosity. I told her I would practice my boundaries so I didn’t repeat or pass down the painful elements to future generations.
I ended that meditation feeling released:
I could easily imagine enjoying a higher income without letting someone take advantage of me.
If a toxic relative asked me to send them 10k a month for no reason I would say NO (obviously ;)
I could be generous when I wanted to, but not when toxic relatives guilted me to.
My new legacy: Abundant, but with boundaries.
That year I added a zero to my income.
I know it’s because of that meditative conversation with my grandmother.
This is one of MANY stories when my life changed because I learned to release inherited trauma.
Inherited trauma isn’t just carrying the trauma of abuse or racism (which is even more important to address). Inherited Trauma can be the subtle or not so subtle experiences that impacts how, and if, you pursue love, money and health goals.
Start here:
Think about a goal you’ve been trying to reach. Paint the picture of the ideal outcome.
Get really honest: What fears come up? Are you afraid of being taken advantage of? Are you afraid of being judged? Are you afraid of making someone feel insecure?
Do these fears remind you of any experiences you witnessed in your parents or grandparents?
It took me 10 years to identify and unpack the fears I attached to making money (and I’d been doing healing work since childhood!!!).
It wasn’t until I learned to use EFT tapping on inherited trauma that I more than doubled my income in one year.
I could freely market myself without the fear of being ridiculed.
I could finally explain the value of EFT without stumbling over my words.
I could easily list higher session rates because I wasn’t afraid of owning that value
No longer carrying my grandmother’s trauma that said: “If you share your value, they will take advantage of you,” I was free.
In 2015, I could barely scrape together a living wage.
In 2016, it felt easy to double it.
It was easy because I was no longer hiding my value in some backward attempt to prevent myself from being hurt and taken advantage of like my grandmother.
Does this make sense?
Exploring inherited trauma is not for the faint of heart. It’s for people who are willing to go deep and get honest about their fears.
I was afraid of people taking advantage of me, and if I looked at my family tree, that fear was very rational (and not just from my grandmother’s story).
Not addressing that fear made me struggle with money for a decade longer than I needed to.
What fears are living in your family tree? What goals are they blocking you from finally reaching?
I spent the last month designing a Workshop to Heal Inherited Trauma.
The remaining spaces are dedicated to my late grandmother, who I know will sprinkle her magic over each brave student.
If you want to break free from the legacies living in your family tree you or future generations, join me on Zoom December 9&10.
This is the only time I will teach this live.
This weekend only, it comes with my Heal Your Inner Child E-book.
If you can’t come live, you’ll be able to access the entire workshop plus live call recordings in an online student portal. Lifetime access included.
Your future generations (and yearly revenue) already thank you,
Jackie Viramontez
Master EFT Trainer
Bestselling Author
Black Friday Bonus: Get a FREE copy of Heal Your Inner Child EBOOK when you enroll today.
When you enroll, Get FREE access to the Inherited Trauma + Heal Your Shadow Workshop Bundle.